The economy has driven me to find new sources of cash. Please consider one of these for your next presentation. I can also create new custom platitudes for a nominal fee.
Here is a sampling.
“Adversity is just an opportunity in a pair of ‘fuck me’ pumps”
“Always consider which teat the milk comes from”
“A rich man knows which way the train is tooting”
“It takes a King to know a throne”
“It takes a whole day to walk around the earth, but only God has the right shoes”
“The naysayer is the sorcerer and his spells cast nothing but doubt”
“Sometimes, only a gay kitty-cat can see the top of the mountain”
“A strangled salesman sells nothing”
“You can always ask for another roll, but they decide about the butter before you ever arrive.”
“You need to know how to sprint in order to catch an errant weasel”