JOSH: “Hey dad, how’s it going?”
JAMES: “Fine son. Come on in and take a load off your feet. You look tired.”
JOSH: “Really? That’s funny, I feel great. Actually, I feel better than great. Never better.”
JAMES: “It’s nothing too serious, I’m sure. Just a little haggard around the eyes, and your shoulders slump a little.
JAMES: “Yeah, ‘slump’. Don’t sweat it, son. We all get tired. It happens. You’re not in your twenties anymore.”
JOSH: “Huh? I guess I should take some vitamins or something. I was thinking of taking up jogging this year, but it’s so hard to find the time, when I’m on set all day. I bet you would enjoy jogging. You seem to have a little more free time these days.”
JAMES: “I got that DVD your publicist sent over. I haven’t watched it, yet. What was it called, ‘The Men From the Old Country’?
JOSH: “It’s called ‘No Country for Old Men’. It’s really meant to see seen on the big screen. I wished you could have seen it, when it was in theaters. I’m really proud of it.”
JAMES: “I wished I could have, but I was filming a watch commercial, over in Dubai. They don’t have art house theaters there.”
JOSH: “It was in general release, dad.”
JAMES: “Well, I for one would like another drink. Would you like one?”
JOSH: “No thanks; I’ve got an early call, tomorrow.”
JAMES (snickers): “You know, back when I was making ‘Westworld’, Dick Benjamin and I used to close down the hotel bar every night, and still make a 5am call. You guys today are soft, I tell you.
JOSH: “That’s great dad.
JAMES: “Oh sorry, I guess Mr. Fancy Pants is too big a star to hear a story about old Hollywood – the REAL Hollywood, from his old man.”
JAMES: “Don’t ‘whatever’ me. You take that tone with me, Goonies, and you’ll be shitting out your teeth in two days. That’s a guarantee.”
JOSH (stands up): “Okay, calm down. I guess I’ll take a drink.”
JAMES: “SIT DOWN. I’ll get your mother to get you drink.”
JOSH (simpering): “Not my mother.”
JAMES: “Bar? BAR?!!! Get Josh a Glenlivet and Fresca.”
JAMES: “It’s the house drink, don’t be a pussy. BAR! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?”
BARBARA: “Right here, dear. Sorry, I was blogging. They are putting in the on the computer for me next week. I love blogging. Do you or Diane blog, Josh?”
JAMES: “What does this prattle have to do with you making me a drink? You know, in Dubai, a man can beat his woman for less.”
BARBARA: “You’ll have to excuse your father, Josh. He has been like this ever since he got back. Everything is how great it is in Dubai.”
JAMES (raises hand to sky): “They treated me like a king there. Did you know that ‘Pensacola: Wings of Gold” has its own channel, in Dubai. They loved me, and in turn, I loved them. Dubaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”
JOSH: “Oh my God. What happened? We should call 911, shouldn’t we?”
BARARA: “No, don’t worry. He will snap out of it in a few minutes. Hold this Fresca under his nose. He gets like this because he loved Dubai so much.”
JAMES (Muttering) : “Dubai. Dubai? Dubai?”
BARBARA: “Yes, Josh?”
JOSH: “Do you think I could have a Glenlivet and Fresca?”
BARBARA: “Of course you can, sweetie. Of course you can. But first, could you help me turn him over? I want to check him for ticks.”
The Belligerent Years would like to take this opportunity to salute the Brolin family and their contribution to film entertainment. The preceding dialog is about a different Brolin family, one that thinks they are movie stars, but are really in a virtual reality game.